33. Life Lesson - House Caterpillars

I don't know what these things specifically are but to me, they are caterpillars or fucking Missing No.'s from fucking Pokemon. My story?  It goes like this, 4AM, wake up, thirsty as hell.  Go downstairs, open fridge, chug some Arizona.  Feel the need to piss after staring at the fridge blankly with drink in my hand for 5 minutes.  Go upstairs, enter the washroom.  Open lights.  Look in mirror to check for Bloody Mary.  Nope.  All is good.  Look down.  Demon slithers across floor.  Close eyes.  Turn off lights.  Walk out room calmly then run into bed while frisking myself to get rid of all the caterpillars that could potentially get on me.  Sometimes, 3 out of 10, I would scream, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT?".  I do this when I just lose control and get scared like a little bitch.  I usually don't sleep until an hour after.  In reality, I don't think these things are dangerous but they are just creepy as shit.  Like imagine if that shit was all over you when you are sleeping, GG LIFE.  Anything with 6 or more legs just creeps the fuck out of me.  Like spiders, you look at them, walk out slowly, then run away.  You folks will love this moral, Life Lesson:  Stop being a pussy and exterminate those fucking pussy ass caterpillars.

"No."

Foreveralone.jpg.